For many people, underwear is not their most important concern in life. There are other considerations like, career, health, relationships, children, grandchildren, money, leisure time, retirement, shoes, bags, books, yada, yada, yada. Few people I know consume themselves with finding the perfect pair of underwear.
For me, this is my life quest.
I long to find underwear that is not continually trying to hide itself up my crack. I dream of underwear that stays in place from the moment I put it on to the time I (or somebody else) takes it off. I pray for underwear that won’t chafe my bits. And I cannot find underwear in the colors that I want.
I have noticed, quite by accident, that women have many more choices when it comes to underwear. Ever seen a men’s underwear section in Victoria’s Secret? Me neither. Perhaps we need a new store specializing in men’s underwear called Hugh’s Secret?
What exactly makes a perfect pair of underwear? For starters, it should be available in colors that you actually want. I am so totally bored with black and white and gray! Obviously it must also fit perfectly. It should be comfortable ALL DAY, and it should stay put, and it should cradle your privates like the finest of baby carriages. It should also breath and be moisture wicking.
There are a few different cuts of men’s underwear. There are boxers, briefs, and something called a boxer-jock, which is kind of a combination between a boxer and a jock strap. These come in 3”, 6”, and 9” lengths. Don’t ask. Do tell! They can be seen at, www.underarmour.com. Until recently, I never knew they existed. And now, I sing their praises!
I am currently wearing the 3” boxer-jock, and I must tell you it is heaven! They are completely supportive of my junk, and they are breathable AND moisture wicking!
Prior to my discovery of this underwear, I’d tried just about everything that Hanes and Jockey offered. Nothing satisfied me. I didn’t realize that what I really needed was specialized athletic underwear. Just as there are cars and there are cars, there is underwear and then there is UNDERWEAR.
You could drive a Prius or a Honda or a Ford, or you could drive a Bentley. My underwear is a Bentley. It’s roomy and comfy and responsive and firm and supportive and safe, and I just cannot find the words to tell you what a pleasure it is to finally wear this underwear. This is something you will have to experience for yourself, preferably in the privacy of your own home.
Again, the website is www.underarmour.com. This brand is not easily found in stores. Still I wish more colors were available. I have written the company suggesting/requesting they make more colors available. As consumers I believe the only way we’ll get what we want is to ask for it. Even then we probably have a 50/50 chance at best.
I feel now that my lifetime quest has come to an end. I have found the underwear of my wildest dreams. My fear now is that they’ll stop making it. Sometimes in life this is the case. You find something you love and can’t live without only to discover that they stop making it.
If you are anything at all like me, and if you are then I strongly recommend immediate long-term professional care, I believe you will LOVE this underwear as much as I do. It remains one of life’s greatest pleasures to know that underneath it all, your underwear is coddling you just the way Grandma did when you were a tiny baby, and that everything will be OK.
I recommend www.underarmour.com.
They have not compensated me in any way to say that, although I wouldn’t turn down some free underwear, thank you very much.
As always, you may see my films on YouTube under “franklandfields”.
Peace. Namaste. Enjoy.
September 9, 2009