Tuesday, June 28, 2005

It is NOT worth it!

just when you THINK you've heard it all...

"Like most Americans, I see the images of violence and bloodshed. Every picture is horrifying and the suffering is real," Bush said, according to excerpts released ahead of time by the White House. "It is worth it."

no, mr. bush, it is NOT worth it!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

THANK YOU NORMAN MAILER

Norman Mailer
God's Chosen Envoy for America

The following is just for the sake of it -- I want to feed the maw of the blog:

In the wake of all the fluvial funereal obsequies that the media attached to Ronald Reagan's earthly departure, I felt obliged to remark that he had been the most overrated president in American history and the second most ignorant. Then I added -- how could I not? -- guess who is the most ignorant? Half the audience applauded; the other half were outraged and groaned in true patriotic pain. Since George W. is not only a horse's ass, but vain and platitudinous to boot, it can hardly escape us that he is also serving (with all due inner incandescence) as God's chosen envoy for America.
THANK YOU NORMAN MAILER! I AGREE!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

RAPTURE!

according to my dictionary, rapture = "a euphoric transcendent state in which somebody is overwhelmed by happiness or delight, and unaware of anything else". by this definition, i'm in rapture every time i have a great BM.
i'm hearing a lot about "the rapture" these days. people feel it's their obligation to tell me about it. just for the record, IT'S NOT!
apparently it's on the way, but hasn't it always been? we are now going through "the dark time", a period of great difficulty, confusion, and hardship, and THEN we'll have this rapture shit. i guess it's a kind of "heaven on earth". whatever!
i certainly cannot argue about "this dark time". our economy is shit; we're in record debt; we're in an endless, illegal, immoral, unethical, moronic war; our leaders are fools; our education system is a bloody shame; people are starving to death in record numbers; worldwide disease is rampant; our environment is being raped and plundered; need i continue? so who wouldn't want a little rapture?! but isn't it rapture walking on the beach? watching birds? making love? enjoying a fine meal? mentoring and volunteering? helping those in need? blogging? and on and on. maybe there really is NO rapture? maybe heaven really is here on earth? maybe some people, or most people, just don't get it? what do you think? do you think?
rapture? well, i've just had an all-time great BM, so i'm already there! thank you very much.

Friday, June 24, 2005

GOD BLESS IRAQ!

why do i only see bumper stickers that say, "GOD BLESS AMERICA"? i thought we were bringing peace, freedom, and democracy to iraq, and all her people? should there not be bumper stickers that say, "GOD BLESS IRAQ", and "GOD BLESS THE IRAQI PEOPLE"? i did see one bumper sticker that read, "GOD BLESS EVERYBODY". that one i liked. aren't we being just a bit selfish with our bumper stickers? well, maybe i'll see some more christian bumper stickers soon.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

real christians...

real christians have nothing whatsoever to do with guns.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Today...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Monday, June 13, 2005

INNOCENT

IT IS OFFICIAL. THE JURY HAS SPOKEN. INNOCENT. MJ IS INNOCENT. THIS IS THE FINAL OFFICIAL VERDICT IN THIS CASE. "NOT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS". pack that in your pipe and smoke it!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Mad Hot Ballroom

DO NOT MISS the great documentary film, Mad Hot Ballroom! this curriculum must be standard in EVERY school! i predict this film will win an academy award. i give it my highest rating. two thumb snaps up BABY!
"anybody can make it when they learn how to shake it."

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T

MJ case, jury deliberation, day five, still no verdict.
the word I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T contains eight letters.
hm....is this a sign? and if so, from whom?
disclaimer: i am NOT a licensed numerologist or gynecologist. i do however wish to remind women of the utmost importance of frequent and lengthy breast exams. let me know if i can help in any way!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

OUR GREATEST FEAR...

despite what i read, hear, see, feel, and know, i must disagree with 99% of the people on planet earth when they declare that george w. bush IS our greatest fear. we simply cannot give him that. we'll give him number two instead. he's our 2nd greatest fear. our number one greatest fear is fear itself. no doubt you've heard this before. we fear so many silly things in our minute lives. in my forthcoming book, "fear clear", i detail EXACTLY what you should fear, AS WELL AS what you should NOT fear. here are some examples.
you should NOT fear: people with a different skin color than you. the truth. love. peace.
you SHOULD FEAR: guns. the fact that america has more guns per person than any other country. politicians who tell you to fear certain things. karl rove. the insane debt this administration is creating. your grandchildren's future.
you should NOT fear: those who tell you to shut up. speaking the truth. standing up for equal rights. the world wide web.
i speak with people each and every day who tell me of their great fear for the future. i am comforted to know that not everybody is blind. after nearly five years of this "BUSHIT", people are waking up. i'm saddened americans took longer to see this than most of the rest of the world. but perhaps americans did see this, and were simply to fearful and ashamed to say anything?
people are talking now. people are suffering, and dying. the great collective wisdom of planet earth is shouting at us, and we can no longer pretend to be deaf. every morning i wake up fooling myself that i've seen it all, and every day this shameful administration reminds me i have not. in 1776 there was a revolution. you may have heard and/or read something about it. in 2006 there will be another one. it's beginning now. i sincerely hope you'll be a part of it.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

SAFETY TIP...

ALWAYS drive with your headlights on! PLEASE!

Saturday, June 04, 2005

"Dear George..."

as a Patriot, Shaman, and Public Servant, i consider it my Duty and Honor to pass this along...
http://www.deargeorgeletters.com/

Thursday, June 02, 2005

really deep throat

i'm not 101% certain this is secure, so it must be brief. i am the male lover of george w. bush. i am also the physician who performed the abortion on laura bush. details to follow...