Wednesday, October 01, 2008

President John McCain

if i were president john mcCain, here are the first ten things i'd do in my first ten days as president of our united states.
day 1 - install a state of the art emergency room in the white house. i am after all 72 years old.
day 2 - remove all the grass at the white house and replace it with environmentally friendly and water conserving plants.
day 3 - i'd have a really close look in all the white house closets. there has to be some skeletons someplace. and time permitting, go on a moose hunt with my vice president.
day 4 - i'd have my staff calculate the exact number of vacation days that george w. bush took while in office (a record) to make certain i didn't take more.
day 5 - since i've been in office now for a week, i'd take a break at one of my nine (or is it ten?) houses, and perhaps buy another pair of $300 italian shoes. they are so comfy!
day 6 - i'd telephone putin, the saudi's, and others, and make it crystal clear to them that if they misbehave, i'll start another war.
day 7 - i'd ask my military advisers and generals if it was actually possible to start another war, because i think all our troops are currently over-committed around the world.
day 8 - i'd reinstate the draft, raising the age to 50.
day 9 - i'd take a nap. it's exhausting being president, especially when you're 72 years old.
day 10 - i'd come to my senses, apologize to the american people, and the rest of the world, resign my presidency, and have my vice president resign too, and then i'd declare our new president to be President Barack Obama.
of course all this hinges on me actually being elected on november 4th, 2008.
and surviving the revolution between then and january 20, 2009.
but we all have a dream.

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