It is NOT worth it!

just when you THINK you've heard it all...

"Like most Americans, I see the images of violence and bloodshed. Every picture is horrifying and the suffering is real," Bush said, according to excerpts released ahead of time by the White House. "It is worth it."

no, mr. bush, it is NOT worth it!

THANK YOU NORMAN MAILER

Norman Mailer
God's Chosen Envoy for America

The following is just for the sake of it -- I want to feed the maw of the blog:

In the wake of all the fluvial funereal obsequies that the media attached to Ronald Reagan's earthly departure, I felt obliged to remark that he had been the most overrated president in American history and the second most ignorant. Then I added -- how could I not? -- guess who is the most ignorant? Half the audience applauded; the other half were outraged and groaned in true patriotic pain. Since George W. is not only a horse's ass, but vain and platitudinous to boot, it can hardly escape us that he is also serving (with all due inner incandescence) as God's chosen envoy for America.
THANK YOU NORMAN MAILER! I AGREE!

RAPTURE!

according to my dictionary, rapture = "a euphoric transcendent state in which somebody is overwhelmed by happiness or delight, and unaware of anything else". by this definition, i'm in rapture every time i have a great BM.
i'm hearing a lot about "the rapture" these days. people feel it's their obligation to tell me about it. just for the record, IT'S NOT!
apparently it's on the way, but hasn't it always been? we are now going through "the dark time", a period of great difficulty, confusion, and hardship, and THEN we'll have this rapture shit. i guess it's a kind of "heaven on earth". whatever!
i certainly cannot argue about "this dark time". our economy is shit; we're in record debt; we're in an endless, illegal, immoral, unethical, moronic war; our leaders are fools; our education system is a bloody shame; people are starving to death in record numbers; worldwide disease is rampant; our environment is being raped and plundered; need i continue? so who wouldn't want a little rapture?! but isn't it rapture walking on the beach? watching birds? making love? enjoying a fine meal? mentoring and volunteering? helping those in need? blogging? and on and on. maybe there really is NO rapture? maybe heaven really is here on earth? maybe some people, or most people, just don't get it? what do you think? do you think?
rapture? well, i've just had an all-time great BM, so i'm already there! thank you very much.

GOD BLESS IRAQ!

why do i only see bumper stickers that say, "GOD BLESS AMERICA"? i thought we were bringing peace, freedom, and democracy to iraq, and all her people? should there not be bumper stickers that say, "GOD BLESS IRAQ", and "GOD BLESS THE IRAQI PEOPLE"? i did see one bumper sticker that read, "GOD BLESS EVERYBODY". that one i liked. aren't we being just a bit selfish with our bumper stickers? well, maybe i'll see some more christian bumper stickers soon.

real christians...

real christians have nothing whatsoever to do with guns.

Today...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

INNOCENT

IT IS OFFICIAL. THE JURY HAS SPOKEN. INNOCENT. MJ IS INNOCENT. THIS IS THE FINAL OFFICIAL VERDICT IN THIS CASE. "NOT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS". pack that in your pipe and smoke it!

Mad Hot Ballroom

DO NOT MISS the great documentary film, Mad Hot Ballroom! this curriculum must be standard in EVERY school! i predict this film will win an academy award. i give it my highest rating. two thumb snaps up BABY!
"anybody can make it when they learn how to shake it."

I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T

MJ case, jury deliberation, day five, still no verdict.
the word I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T contains eight letters.
hm....is this a sign? and if so, from whom?
disclaimer: i am NOT a licensed numerologist or gynecologist. i do however wish to remind women of the utmost importance of frequent and lengthy breast exams. let me know if i can help in any way!

OUR GREATEST FEAR...

despite what i read, hear, see, feel, and know, i must disagree with 99% of the people on planet earth when they declare that george w. bush IS our greatest fear. we simply cannot give him that. we'll give him number two instead. he's our 2nd greatest fear. our number one greatest fear is fear itself. no doubt you've heard this before. we fear so many silly things in our minute lives. in my forthcoming book, "fear clear", i detail EXACTLY what you should fear, AS WELL AS what you should NOT fear. here are some examples.
you should NOT fear: people with a different skin color than you. the truth. love. peace.
you SHOULD FEAR: guns. the fact that america has more guns per person than any other country. politicians who tell you to fear certain things. karl rove. the insane debt this administration is creating. your grandchildren's future.
you should NOT fear: those who tell you to shut up. speaking the truth. standing up for equal rights. the world wide web.
i speak with people each and every day who tell me of their great fear for the future. i am comforted to know that not everybody is blind. after nearly five years of this "BUSHIT", people are waking up. i'm saddened americans took longer to see this than most of the rest of the world. but perhaps americans did see this, and were simply to fearful and ashamed to say anything?
people are talking now. people are suffering, and dying. the great collective wisdom of planet earth is shouting at us, and we can no longer pretend to be deaf. every morning i wake up fooling myself that i've seen it all, and every day this shameful administration reminds me i have not. in 1776 there was a revolution. you may have heard and/or read something about it. in 2006 there will be another one. it's beginning now. i sincerely hope you'll be a part of it.

SAFETY TIP...

ALWAYS drive with your headlights on! PLEASE!

"Dear George..."

as a Patriot, Shaman, and Public Servant, i consider it my Duty and Honor to pass this along...
http://www.deargeorgeletters.com/

really deep throat

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remember...

on this memorial day, it is indeed important to remember those who gave their lives. it is also VERY IMPORTANT to remember the following:
war is NEVER the answer or solution. there is NEVER a war winner. there is no honor in killing. in fact, those who participate in war, are in my opinion, losers. would jesus have made war? would the pope serve in active duty on the front lines? remember "thou shall not kill"?! remember also that george w. bush NEVER served in our armed forces. for that matter, i'll bet he NEVER scrubbed a toilet, mopped a floor, or ever cleaned his own house. we leave such duties, along with fighting and dying in wars, to the poorest and most underprivileged americans. remember too that benjamin franklin, thomas jefferson, and france created this country, and are ashamed to see where we've brought ourselves. keep in mind that we still live in a democracy, and you really can make a HUGE DIFFERENCE in november of 2008, and all the elections between now and then. the nonsense and insanity that has gone on since november of 2000, and continues to go on, will most definitely affect our grandchildren. teach them NOW how to deal with it. history will most assuredly identify the truth of this shameful, and illegal administration. you are a living witness who must NEVER let people forget the truth. so remember, we don't have to make war to have peace. i just hope we figure this out before we're extinct.

www.greencafe.com

www.greencafe.com.
it's great!
be a part of the solution, not the problem.

www.greencafe.com

if you desire to be a part of a really great website, visit, www.greencafe.com. it's really really terrific! you can be the solution and not the problem.

Underwear steward

recently, i was contacted by the bush administration employee who's only job is to wash the president's underwear. he is completely undercover, for homeland security reasons, but very much wanted his story to be told. i will not, and cannot divulge his name, mainly because i don't know it. this whole matter was done very covertly, so basically, i don't know nothing. the following are direct quotes from our taped interview, which is for sale.

me: "hi, so you wash president bush's underwear, is that right"?

him: "yes, i do."

me: "tell me how you managed to get such an important job."

him: "i used to be the foreman in charge of manure management on bush's crawford texas ranch."

me: "so, let me understand this. you were in charge of shit?"

him: "exactly. anything having to do with shit, was my complete responsibility."

me: "WOW! well, the obvious question is boxers or briefs?"

him: "the president pretty much wears whatever's clean that morning. i've seen him wear both from time to time. on a personal level he prefers to wear no underwear, because it's easier for him to scratch."

me: "i see. describe for our readers and viewers what it's like to wash the president's underwear all day long."

him: "well, the president is up pretty early, so i am too. the night before, i check and make sure that he has at least one dozen pairs of clean underwear to choose from for the following morning. oddly enough, when it comes to underwear, this president is very much pro-choice."

me: "that is odd. what other insights can you give americans who aren't on as intimate a level as you are with their president?"

him: "he likes to fart. he says it feels good. he always laughs at a good fart. he tells me laura can really rip 'em, but i've never actually heard her myself."

me: "well, i guess we all do it, huh? what details can you relate to us about the president's underwear?"

him: "i've noticed, since 9/11, there have been more brown skid-marks in his underpants. if they can't be washed out real good, dick cheney instructs me to burn them. even though i officially work for the president, most of my orders come directly from dick cheney. the president often says, "that's my dick!"

me: "apparently they work pretty well together."

him: "are you kidding?! they fucking hate one another!"

me: "are you able to tell us what specific brand name underwear the president wears?"

him: "geez, i don't know if i should. i might get into trouble, or something."

me: "totally understandable."

him: "it's not that i'm afraid, it's just that there used to be some people who worked here, and now they've completely disappeared. it's weird, you know?"

me: "yes, i know."

him: "i've worked for the bush family since i was nine years old, and i've learned some things."

me: "like what?"

him: "like if you piss them off, the rest of your life is shit."

me: "really?"

him: "Oh yeah, i've seen some scary shit go on in that family. as long as you do what you're told, you get a paycheck, but cross them, and you're fucked."

me: "i've heard that from many other people. let's get back to underwear. does the president have a favorite color?"

him: "for sure. he likes black the most. he says it hides the brown skid-marks the best."

me: "i wouldn't know a thing about that."

him: "me neither!"

me: "how old are you?"

him: "i'm 79. i've worked for the bush family for 70 years. they say if i keep up the good work, i can retire soon."

me: "sounds reasonable. how much to you earn?"

him: "when i first started, 70 years ago, they didn't pay me any money, but i got to sleep in the barn, and could eat all the food that was tossed out before the pigs got it. now i get $5.30 an hour. mrs. bush says i might soon be getting a raise."

me: "has the president confirmed this?"

him: "well, not yet, but he's pretty busy. i save a lot of my money, since i live in the basement of the white house. i sleep in the same room where the washing machines are, so i don't have to commute or nothing like that. i don't own a car. i like to walk. after work, i usually go for a walk. i work from 6am to 6pm, then i take a little walk around the basement of the white house. the president says it's too dangerous for me to go outside."

me: "i see. if i may, i'd like to get a little personal. who did you vote for?"

him: "in 2000 i voted for al gore, and in 2004 i voted for john kerry."

me: "me too."

him: "but since i've worked my whole life for the bush family, i figure i'd stick it out another few years 'til they put me out to pasture. the president says i can always live in his barn whenever i'm ready to retire."

me: "wow. anything else you'd like your fellow americans to know?"

him: "i like movies. i really liked that last one i got to see, gone with the wind. that was a good one! i ain't seen no movies since then. the bush family keeps me pretty busy. i like donkeys too. there's something safe and comforting about a good donkey."

me: "i want to thank you very much for having the courage to speak with me. i think your place in history will be very important, and that future generations will always be grateful to the man in the basement of the white house who washed the president's underwear."

him: "awe shucks, 'tain't nothin'."

me: "well, i think you're very brave, and i personally salute you."

him: "can i just say one more thing?"

me: "of course."

him: "when i do retire, i'll be auctioning off some of the president's used underpants on ebay."

me: "cool!"

from 1952

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
--President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1952

Nadine Stair

Nadine Stair has written words i live by, and definitely worth spreading around.

"If I had My Life To Live Over"

"i'd like to make more mistakes next time. i'd relax, i would limber up. i would be sillier than i have been this trip. i would take fewer things seriously. i would take more chances. i would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. i would eat more ice cream and less beans. i would perhaps have more actual troubles, but i'd have fewer imaginary ones. you see, i'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. oh, i've had my moments, and if i had it to do over again, i'd have more of them. in fact, i'd try to have nothing else. just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. i've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. if i had to do it again, i would travel lighter than i have. if i had my life to live over, i would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. i would go to more dances. i would ride more merry-go-rounds. i would pick more daisies."

and i would smell more wildflowers, take more walks, cuddle and snuggle with my lover more, mentor more children, write more, take more naps, promote peace and love more, protest more, speak out more, listen more, blog more, see more art, create more art, travel more, drink more tea, see more movies, and eat more chocolate, yada yada yada...etc...
and the best thing is this: we get to live our lives over every morning we wake up.

thank you Nadine Stair

SURPRISE SURPRISE?!

you've probably already figured this out, but jesus IS NOT my savior. Gadi is. although I'D LOVE to speak with jesus, because i'm quite certain that those who claim to follow him and his teachings, don't have a fucking clue how jesus would really behave in the 21st century, but that's a whole other blog. today, i'm going to tell you about MY savior, Gadi. i had car trouble today. it happened it a good place, close to Gadi. turns out i may need an alternator, which i was told cost $420. then i called Gadi, and he told me he can get me one for $175. i don't know if this repair will be covered under my warranty. i'll find that out monday. in the meantime, i was stranded, until Gadi told me i could use his car. the gas tank was only 1/4 full, so i filled it up for $40. but the bottom line is that Gadi saved me today. and this wasn't the first time. he has saved me before. he is like a brother to me, and i absolutely would help him out in any way i could. i highly recommend if anybody requires quality transportation, they should call A Valley Cabousine at 760-340-5845. i guess i'll get my car fixed in a week or so, if all goes according to planned. i'm just so glad that i have a friend and savior in Gadi. he'll sure benefit when i win the lotto. in the meantime when you do speak with jesus, please inform him that frank landfield would like an appointment. thank you.