remember...

on this memorial day, it is indeed important to remember those who gave their lives. it is also VERY IMPORTANT to remember the following:
war is NEVER the answer or solution. there is NEVER a war winner. there is no honor in killing. in fact, those who participate in war, are in my opinion, losers. would jesus have made war? would the pope serve in active duty on the front lines? remember "thou shall not kill"?! remember also that george w. bush NEVER served in our armed forces. for that matter, i'll bet he NEVER scrubbed a toilet, mopped a floor, or ever cleaned his own house. we leave such duties, along with fighting and dying in wars, to the poorest and most underprivileged americans. remember too that benjamin franklin, thomas jefferson, and france created this country, and are ashamed to see where we've brought ourselves. keep in mind that we still live in a democracy, and you really can make a HUGE DIFFERENCE in november of 2008, and all the elections between now and then. the nonsense and insanity that has gone on since november of 2000, and continues to go on, will most definitely affect our grandchildren. teach them NOW how to deal with it. history will most assuredly identify the truth of this shameful, and illegal administration. you are a living witness who must NEVER let people forget the truth. so remember, we don't have to make war to have peace. i just hope we figure this out before we're extinct.

www.greencafe.com

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it's great!
be a part of the solution, not the problem.

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Underwear steward

recently, i was contacted by the bush administration employee who's only job is to wash the president's underwear. he is completely undercover, for homeland security reasons, but very much wanted his story to be told. i will not, and cannot divulge his name, mainly because i don't know it. this whole matter was done very covertly, so basically, i don't know nothing. the following are direct quotes from our taped interview, which is for sale.

me: "hi, so you wash president bush's underwear, is that right"?

him: "yes, i do."

me: "tell me how you managed to get such an important job."

him: "i used to be the foreman in charge of manure management on bush's crawford texas ranch."

me: "so, let me understand this. you were in charge of shit?"

him: "exactly. anything having to do with shit, was my complete responsibility."

me: "WOW! well, the obvious question is boxers or briefs?"

him: "the president pretty much wears whatever's clean that morning. i've seen him wear both from time to time. on a personal level he prefers to wear no underwear, because it's easier for him to scratch."

me: "i see. describe for our readers and viewers what it's like to wash the president's underwear all day long."

him: "well, the president is up pretty early, so i am too. the night before, i check and make sure that he has at least one dozen pairs of clean underwear to choose from for the following morning. oddly enough, when it comes to underwear, this president is very much pro-choice."

me: "that is odd. what other insights can you give americans who aren't on as intimate a level as you are with their president?"

him: "he likes to fart. he says it feels good. he always laughs at a good fart. he tells me laura can really rip 'em, but i've never actually heard her myself."

me: "well, i guess we all do it, huh? what details can you relate to us about the president's underwear?"

him: "i've noticed, since 9/11, there have been more brown skid-marks in his underpants. if they can't be washed out real good, dick cheney instructs me to burn them. even though i officially work for the president, most of my orders come directly from dick cheney. the president often says, "that's my dick!"

me: "apparently they work pretty well together."

him: "are you kidding?! they fucking hate one another!"

me: "are you able to tell us what specific brand name underwear the president wears?"

him: "geez, i don't know if i should. i might get into trouble, or something."

me: "totally understandable."

him: "it's not that i'm afraid, it's just that there used to be some people who worked here, and now they've completely disappeared. it's weird, you know?"

me: "yes, i know."

him: "i've worked for the bush family since i was nine years old, and i've learned some things."

me: "like what?"

him: "like if you piss them off, the rest of your life is shit."

me: "really?"

him: "Oh yeah, i've seen some scary shit go on in that family. as long as you do what you're told, you get a paycheck, but cross them, and you're fucked."

me: "i've heard that from many other people. let's get back to underwear. does the president have a favorite color?"

him: "for sure. he likes black the most. he says it hides the brown skid-marks the best."

me: "i wouldn't know a thing about that."

him: "me neither!"

me: "how old are you?"

him: "i'm 79. i've worked for the bush family for 70 years. they say if i keep up the good work, i can retire soon."

me: "sounds reasonable. how much to you earn?"

him: "when i first started, 70 years ago, they didn't pay me any money, but i got to sleep in the barn, and could eat all the food that was tossed out before the pigs got it. now i get $5.30 an hour. mrs. bush says i might soon be getting a raise."

me: "has the president confirmed this?"

him: "well, not yet, but he's pretty busy. i save a lot of my money, since i live in the basement of the white house. i sleep in the same room where the washing machines are, so i don't have to commute or nothing like that. i don't own a car. i like to walk. after work, i usually go for a walk. i work from 6am to 6pm, then i take a little walk around the basement of the white house. the president says it's too dangerous for me to go outside."

me: "i see. if i may, i'd like to get a little personal. who did you vote for?"

him: "in 2000 i voted for al gore, and in 2004 i voted for john kerry."

me: "me too."

him: "but since i've worked my whole life for the bush family, i figure i'd stick it out another few years 'til they put me out to pasture. the president says i can always live in his barn whenever i'm ready to retire."

me: "wow. anything else you'd like your fellow americans to know?"

him: "i like movies. i really liked that last one i got to see, gone with the wind. that was a good one! i ain't seen no movies since then. the bush family keeps me pretty busy. i like donkeys too. there's something safe and comforting about a good donkey."

me: "i want to thank you very much for having the courage to speak with me. i think your place in history will be very important, and that future generations will always be grateful to the man in the basement of the white house who washed the president's underwear."

him: "awe shucks, 'tain't nothin'."

me: "well, i think you're very brave, and i personally salute you."

him: "can i just say one more thing?"

me: "of course."

him: "when i do retire, i'll be auctioning off some of the president's used underpants on ebay."

me: "cool!"

from 1952

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
--President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1952

Nadine Stair

Nadine Stair has written words i live by, and definitely worth spreading around.

"If I had My Life To Live Over"

"i'd like to make more mistakes next time. i'd relax, i would limber up. i would be sillier than i have been this trip. i would take fewer things seriously. i would take more chances. i would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. i would eat more ice cream and less beans. i would perhaps have more actual troubles, but i'd have fewer imaginary ones. you see, i'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. oh, i've had my moments, and if i had it to do over again, i'd have more of them. in fact, i'd try to have nothing else. just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. i've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. if i had to do it again, i would travel lighter than i have. if i had my life to live over, i would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. i would go to more dances. i would ride more merry-go-rounds. i would pick more daisies."

and i would smell more wildflowers, take more walks, cuddle and snuggle with my lover more, mentor more children, write more, take more naps, promote peace and love more, protest more, speak out more, listen more, blog more, see more art, create more art, travel more, drink more tea, see more movies, and eat more chocolate, yada yada yada...etc...
and the best thing is this: we get to live our lives over every morning we wake up.

thank you Nadine Stair

SURPRISE SURPRISE?!

you've probably already figured this out, but jesus IS NOT my savior. Gadi is. although I'D LOVE to speak with jesus, because i'm quite certain that those who claim to follow him and his teachings, don't have a fucking clue how jesus would really behave in the 21st century, but that's a whole other blog. today, i'm going to tell you about MY savior, Gadi. i had car trouble today. it happened it a good place, close to Gadi. turns out i may need an alternator, which i was told cost $420. then i called Gadi, and he told me he can get me one for $175. i don't know if this repair will be covered under my warranty. i'll find that out monday. in the meantime, i was stranded, until Gadi told me i could use his car. the gas tank was only 1/4 full, so i filled it up for $40. but the bottom line is that Gadi saved me today. and this wasn't the first time. he has saved me before. he is like a brother to me, and i absolutely would help him out in any way i could. i highly recommend if anybody requires quality transportation, they should call A Valley Cabousine at 760-340-5845. i guess i'll get my car fixed in a week or so, if all goes according to planned. i'm just so glad that i have a friend and savior in Gadi. he'll sure benefit when i win the lotto. in the meantime when you do speak with jesus, please inform him that frank landfield would like an appointment. thank you.

symbols or satan?

for fifteen years i volunteered at our local community elementary school. from 1985 to 2000 almost everybody loved me there, almost. the teachers encouraged me to become a substitute teacher, and so i did, although i was never hired by this local school district, because they are controlled by conservative/christian/republicans, who knew best, and decided i would never be hired in "their school district" as a substitute teacher. so i continued to volunteer. there was one woman in particular, which i'll simply call MGH, who did not like me. she looked for any reason to get me in trouble as often as she could. she'd run to the principal and report me for things, like watching the children play on the playground. the principal would tell her that was my volunteer job for the day. she'd run to the principal and say i was alone in a room with a student. the principal would tell her that was my job for that day. i was tutoring, or reading to students, or helping them with their homework, or sometimes just supervising them. one day MGH approached me, in a very unpleasant, confrontational way, and said: "you MUST remove that symbol you're wearing. it is against school district policy for anybody, student or staff, to wear any kind of symbol." i was wearing a peace sign. she said: "if you don't immediately remove that symbol, i'll file a report and complaint with the principal, school board, and school district." i paused a moment, thinking satanic horns would sprout from her forehead any second. then i noticed she was wearing a symbol 'round her neck too, so i said: "hm, i guess that means i also must report you for wearing that symbol you have so prominently displayed around your neck." about this time, i think i did notice satanic horns emerging from her forehead. i'm pretty certain smoke was coming from her ears too, while flames danced deep within her eyes. so i said, "i'll tell you what. i think the best solution here is if we both remove our symbols, together, simultaneously, right now, in front of each other. that way, neither one of us will have to fill out all that bloody paperwork filing reports and complaints on each other. what do you say?" she said nothing. i thought her head would spin 360º, like in that movie, the exorcist, and i was kinda looking forward to that, because i'd never seen a head spin around like that before, but it didn't, so i wondered if they ever really do, or if that's just in the movies. she sorta huffed a bit, then turned and walked away. i'm pretty sure smoke was still coming from her ears, and now from her ass as well. i never did remove my peace sign, and i always saw her wearing her symbol too from that day on. hers was some kind of cross, displayed quite boldly just under her adam's apple, on a little silver chain. she continued to report me for anything she could. in 2000, when i became very publically politically active, the school district told me i was no longer wanted at their school as a volunteer. when i asked them why, they simply said that my behavior was "inappropriate". i knew this was code for, "you're not our kind". i found other volunteer opportunities. i've discovered it's a complete waste of everybody's time for me to try and fit in where i'm not wanted. but mostly, it's very sad. education is getting less and less money. american students are getting dumber. our economy is suffering for lack of qualified, educated employees. in the last few years, more american companies hired more IIT graduates, than MIT and CIT graduates combined. this is a clear message. IIT = india institute of technology, MIT = massachusettes institute of technology, and CIT = california institute of technology. i've noticed an announcement in our local excuse for a newspaper on behalf of the school asking for community volunteers. of course, they don't mean me. they only want good christians, good republicans, good conservatives, and primarily volunteers with no opinions, so they can't express any. and of course, they don't want any volunteers who might wear a peace sign. apparently crosses are OK. i haven't told too many people about this. most of the time when i do tell somebody, they think i'm kidding. the school puts on a good act. but after 15 years of volunteering there, i know what lies beneath. people usually act and behave a certain way, but you can always tell who they really are by asking them a few simple questions, like: do you own any guns? do you recycle? do you vote? who'd you vote for? how often do you attend church? do you smoke? do you believe in equal rights FOR EVERYBODY? in those 15 years i volunteered at that school, there were other volunteers too. people who had been volunteering there fewer years than i. i witnessed them get taken out to lunch, receive special recognition from the school board, be given fancy certificates of appreciation, and even presented with flowers and chocolate. i never got nothing. and of course i wasn't volunteering to get anything either, except the smiles and thank you's from the children i interacted with, and there were more than enough of those for me. some people at that school express to me that i am missed. some of them make it quite clear to me that i was tossed out. and some of them clearly only care about keeping their jobs. since 2000, i've heard of similar experiences from many people. this current illegal administration has an agenda, and if you're not part of it, then you're considered an enemy. and to think, feeding christians to lions was once considered great sport. how times have changed! or have they? i have learned to go where i'm wanted, and help those who want my help. i honestly believe i can change our world, one person at a time. and you can too. today i see tons of people wearing all kinds of symbols. people wear crosses, wristbands, peace signs, earings, and not to mention those things pierced in just about every other part of their body as well. don't ever be afraid to wear a symbol, because that symbol tells the world who and what you are, and we really need to know! PEACE!

therapy or yada yada yada

it occurs to me that a blog is very much like psychotherapy, in the same way a diary is. therapy these days costs between $80 and $350 per fifty minute session. i'm not against therapy, in fact, i think probably most people benefit from it. ask woody allen about that. the fact of the matter is, i make $10 an hour, and cannot keep up with my bills now, so adding another one just doesn't make any sense. and so, my blog is my therapy. today's session is about why i find it impossible to associate with people who support george w. bush, and voted for him, and support his insane/inhuman iraq war. my neighbor across the street voted for bush. he also owns guns. on the surface, he's a very nice fellow. i just can't bring myself to associate with him. he's married to a woman who voted for kerry, and has compared bush to hitler. apparently they're able to co-exist somehow. i don't know how or why. perhaps Love really does conquer all? my neighbor next door to me, who is just this moment building his house, also voted for bush. he's been very nice to me. he's helped me. he puts his california redemption value containers in a bucket which i supplied to him, so that i may recycle them for cash. another problem i have is that i cannot throw away money, in any form, including california redemption value recycleable containers. these are mostly aluminium cans, plastic bottles, and on friday's, they drink their friday beers from glass bottles, also a CRV (California Redemption Value container). this neighbor just recently informed me he'd voted for bush. before then, we seemed to be developing a nice friendship. since then, i have had this problem of wanting to be his friend. i wonder if i'm becoming more orthodox, conservative, prejudice, intolerant, discriminatory, and/or fundamental, because i don't want to associate with people who aren't exactly like me. this is troubling, stressful, and difficult. our world is so full of so many different people, and through globalization, we're all being forced in front of each other. only 51% of american voters voted for bush, although that's never been proven to my satisfaction. in my opinion, he was never elected to begin with in 2000 or 2004, but that is an entirely different blog subject! my neighbor across the street, who voted for bush, who supports this crazy iraq war, and who owns guns, has very little in common with me. am i to focus on what we do have in common, and ignore the rest? well, we both like computers, and we're both happy, helpful people, whom many like. and yet, he is like the negative end of a magnet, while i'm the positive end, or vice versa. i am so anti-gun, i'm militant. i support the banning of all guns everywhere. i believe guns serve absolutely no human/loving/religious purpose, and yet, we continue to murder one another in america at the highest worldwide rate. and i am no closer to understanding why i can't, or won't associate with people who support george w. bush. maybe this has something to do with it. you may have heard or seen or read about the ducks who nested near the white house. they are deemed a security risk. a fence was immediately erected around them for their own protection. it was also noted that when those chicks hatch, the family is going to most definitely make their way to the closest water, which just happens to be a fountain in front of the white house, on white house property. a white house spokesperson said it is too much of a security risk to permit this duck family into that fountain. in effect, they are prisoners, and when the chicks hatch, the family will be "relocated". is this what our government has come to? fencing in nesting ducks for their own protection, and prohibiting them from white house property? come to think of it, one of those ducks did look an aweful lot like an ICBM! BM for sure! since that property belongs to "we the people", shouldn't we at least vote on it? i used to think that america was the best place on earth to live. i don't think that anymore, although i haven't lived anyplace else either. i think it just may be time for me to do so, if only i had the courage. i'd at least like affordable, competent health care for everybody. again, here's another blog topic! maybe it simply all does come down to that old saying: "you get what you pay for." rich people live longer, because they can afford the very best healthcare. i've now crossed over from the "therapy" portion of this blog, to the "yada yada yada". i don't know that i've solved a bloody thing. i still don't want to associate with people who support george w. bush. i'm still against this terribly insane iraq war. i continue to be anti-gun, and i still believe in democracy, even when people tell me they don't vote, because they're sure it makes no goddamn difference. maybe i'm a fool, but i'm a fool with a blog that somebody's reading! now who's the sucker?! well, c'est la vie!

living IS easy

living IS easy, i think. life offers so much, and so many opportunities, that it is truly easy. now consider how easy life is/was for say, stephen hawking, or christopher reeve. not so easy? perhaps. they both are/were seriously ill, and yet both contribute/d so much. both have endless courage. both refuse to stop living. there are many people living with pain and illness. the key word here is LIVING! no matter how terrible you perceive your personal condition to be, life is always the best alternative. living is easy in another way too. dying is really tough. dying is so difficult, i believe, because it is the final unknown. the way i look at it, there is no such thing as death. there is only a transformation from this life form to the next. consider the atomic and molecular level.
blogs are supposed to be personal, like diaries. and at the same time, a blog is available to anybody. blogs have helped many people with their particular hardship. blogs have uncovered criminal activity. blogs have healed. blogs have made bloggers RICH! blogs allow us to express ourselves, and truly take our first amendment and heart and soul to the level that they are intended to be on. when i think of all the suffering, and all the people who are ill, i realize that i am so very lucky. no matter what your situation, it can always be worse, very much worse. i have a friend who survived a brain tumor, one who survived two triple heart bypass operations, one who survived prostate cancer, one who survived breast cancer, one who survived luekemia, and ONE who survived divorce! i prefer to surround myself with survivors. those who don't survive, you pretty much have to visit in the cemetery, or the place where their ashes were scattered. survivors have a very strong will to live. i am a survivor. i'm also very selfish, because i have no idea what my next life will be, so i prefer to keep this one, FOREVER, thank you very much! O YES, i would sell my soul to the devil for immortality. it's a good deal! if i'm immortal, how will he ever get my bloody soul?! i could be less selfish, and say that i gladly look forward to the atoms and molecules in me today, rearranging into something else after my body dies. i could say that, but i won't, and i can't. satan, are you listening? i'm ready to cut a deal RIGHT NOW TODAY! and if not with satan, then i'm open to other offers. christopher reeve showed us all how to live. stephen hawking shows us all how to live. we must make every moment count, and we must realize that no matter how tough we think we have it, we have it really easy compared to somebody else. don't feel sorry for yourself, because selfishly that won't get you anywhere. if you think you have it rough, just consider what agony it must be to be pope. MY GOD! this quote makes so much sense!
"When the voting slowly developed making it clear that the guillotine was coming closer and pointing at me, I asked God to spare me this destiny."
Pope Benedict XVI
well duh! we all have our little aches, pains, and disease, including me. so remember, stop whining and wasting time, and make a difference, or you really just might end up going to hell in a handbag, stuck next to george w. bush. is there any worse fate than this?! until next time, continue to actively participate in the blog revolution!

greedy hotels

i think hotels that charge you to use their telephone, and the internet are greedy and low-class! here at the hilton garden inn, rancho mirage, california, they give you FREE WIRELESS INTERNET in the lobby. the chairs are real comfy too...i know...i'm chillin' in one right now, writing this blog entry. what i don't understand is why people would stay at a hotel that charges you to use the internet, and the bloody telephone in your own hotel room. c'est la vie. i shall be staying exclusively at hotels that offer FREE WIRELESS INTERNET. thank you hilton garden inn! peace!

C'est La Vie!

C'est La Vie!
www.thesmokinggun.com

Shaman Strolling Staffs

people have asked if my handmade, original, unique, magical Shaman Strolling Staffs are for sale. the answer is "yes", but they are VERY EXPENSIVE. each Staff is handmade, and takes a very long time to finish. they are completely customized to their caretaker. you see, nobody owns these Staffs. if chosen to purchase one of my Shaman Strolling Staffs, you simply take care of it until the next caretaker strolls along. this is what we must also do with our mother earth. to apply for an interview and audition, to determine if you are worthy of one of my Staffs, you may contact my agent at, "franklandfield@yahoo.com". an appointment may be made, depending on your email correspondance. only a very few Shaman Strolling Staffs are created every season. these are not mass produced, and they are only made by me, personally, not by somebody else under my direction. there are only a few chosen Shamans who truly know the infinite and intimate power of these Strolling Staffs. "if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?" www.buyblue.org. www.howardstern.com.